Archive for April, 2008

My New Theme Song
April 25, 2008

Time only adds to the flame.

Patsy Cline

 

My all time favorite Patsy Cline song is “I Fall to Pieces”, which I have ruefully decided is a good description for my current situation, as nagging ills seem to have taken hold of my life all of a sudden.

 

And it’s not only my poor old body! Both car air conditioners have needed costly attention, our hot water heater cratered on us, and of course, our driveway IS literally falling to pieces.

 

Personally, I’ve had some issues with my previously repaired front tooth that I ruined back in 1961. Back I went to the endodontist, who wants to look at it again next month. And then I cracked my shoulder on the doorjamb in the dark and have had some restriction in my arm motion ever since. Then came the spring allergies, which threw me for a loop and settled in my throat. After that, I began to notice some swollen knuckles on my hands (yikes, could it be arthritis?). Also, my knee is bothering me whenever I walk down a stairstep, and my left foot has another Morton’s neuroma, so I can’t run anymore. Sigh.

 

Thus, my new theme song goes as follows:

 

(Refrain) I fall to pieces

Each time I get out of bed….

I fall to pieces,

No, it’s not just in my head!

 

I want to go jogging like I used to do.

But my foot is hurting and my knee is, too.

And I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but I just can’t run.

I walk now ‘cuz I’ve fallen to pieces!”

 

(Refrain)

 

You tell me to find something else that’s new,

Something that’ll keep me fit, the way jogging used to do.

But each time I start out in my running shoes,

I say OUCH, and I fall to pieces!!

 

(What do you think? It’s either the above song, or “Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes”? How about I throw in Hands and Teeth and Throat and Nose for good measure!)

 

I think I’ll stick with my usual method of dealing with personal maladies, and that is to wait them out. Take the time to slow down, take care of myself, then start anew once repaired. Whether or not this will continue to work as I get older remains to be seen, but in the meantime, I am going to give myself a month off. Too bad all this is happening while the weather is so nice!


As for the air conditioners, hot water heaters, driveways and other pesky things that have also fallen to pieces, that’s what money is for. They will eventually be repaired (or have already been). Let’s hope that I will, too! See you on the walking trails… 

 

(pewperson will be back in two weeks)

The Wardrobe Malfunction
April 18, 2008

And why do you worry about clothing?…

-Matthew 6:28

 

In case you noticed me along the pathway earlier this week wearing a long piece of scotch tape on the back of my leg, I have a very good explanation. It’s because I had to tape my pants back together on Sunday morning! Of course, now I’ll have to explain why I had to tape my pants back together.

 

The morning started out on a bad note, when I realized that my watch battery was slowly dying, and it was 15 minutes later than I thought it was. So I had to hustle to get everything done and to church by 7:45 a.m. On top of that, it was a lot cooler outside than I had thought it would be, so I decided to make a switch in my planned outfit and wear something a little warmer. I picked a pair of white pants I hadn’t worn in awhile, with a pale yellow jacket. That meant I also had to change purses, which I did quickly, given the time.

 

Finally, off I went. Once at church, I realized that I hadn’t put my reading glasses in my new purse, so I was half blind on top of running late. As I sat down in the choir room before the kids arrived, I noticed that the lining of the pants I was wearing was hanging out of the bottom of the right leg. Great!! If I’d had a stapler handy, I’d have stapled the darn thing back in place, but in a pinch, scotch tape would have to do. I made the temporary repair, and fervently hoped it would hold until I got home!

 

All I could think about as I approached the altar after taking communion was that piece of scotch tape; my hope was that it would please, please, please stay in place, safely hidden in my pants as I knelt down! I do know that it held, thankfully, but since I don’t have a rear view mirror, I have no idea if it was visible or not. Forgive me if I wasn’t thinking holy thoughts.

 

You’ll be amused to know that that strip of tape did hold for quite some time afterwards, except that it stuck to ME instead of the pants lining! Unbeknownst to me, when I removed my britches after church, it somehow released its hold on the lining and stuck to my leg. I am so thankful that I “stuck” to wearing long pants (a different pair!) for the rest of the day, as I went to the kids’ matinee performance of their spring musical, then out to dinner with Joel afterwards. So nobody could see my newest fashion accessory, firmly affixed to my leg.

 

That darn piece of tape stuck to me all night, through all my morning dog walking and bike riding. It even stuck to me as I showered! That was quite an impressive piece of tape! Only when I rubbed some lotion on my leg, post shower, did I happen to feel the strip still stuck to my skin. Finally, 24 hours after being put into service, that long piece of tape that kept on sticking was removed from my leg for good.

 

So that explains it. I hope I have put your mind at ease, now that you know the story behind my unintended fashion statement! But who knows? I might see somebody out there wearing a piece of tape on her leg tomorrow, and if so, I’ll know I’ve started a new fashion trend!

Our Fadda
April 12, 2008

Whitch art in HEAVENNNNNNN! Hallowet be dye name.

-The Lord’s Prayer (the Zoei Toh version)

 

My friend Pam sent me a link to a video clip of a sweet little two-year old (plus eight months) oriental girl in pigtails who sings “The Lord’s Prayer”. You might think she is parroting words she has memorized, but as she sings, it appears that she really emotes the lyrics as with appropriate gusto and gestures, “DYE Kingdom Come! DYE Will Be Done! In ERF as it is in Heaven…”

 

It is a very sweet performance, but the weird thing is that it is also a cat magnet! Who would ever guess that Mimi and Trixie would respond to this clip, but respond to it they do! They both leap up onto my desk, meowing loudly and rub their heads on my monitor. Every time I have played it, they come, as if mesmerized. Is it the pitch? Or the message?

 

Of course it must be the high pitch of this little girl’s voice. Does she sound like a kitten to our cats? I used to tease our old cat Suki by making a high pitched mewling sound (a la a kitten), and she would perk her ears up and meow back at me.

 

“and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from EEEEEEEEEEEEVIL! For DIIIIIIINE is the KINGDOM and the POWER and the GLORORORY, ForEEEEEEEVER!”

 

Five times now I have played this clip, and all five times they have jumped up on my desk as if the Pied Piper were playing his siren-like call. I never really bought into the Pied Piper story about how the piper played his pipe and lured all the rats out of the town, but after watching this lure of little Zoei Toh to my cats, I’m wondering if maybe there wasn’t something in the Piper’s pitch that did the trick? It’s either that or the fact that Zoei and the Piper were so off key that it hurt the poor creatures’ ears!

 

Perhaps I should video the cats responding to Zoei Toh? Would that make it onto YouTube and be a mega hit? Maybe so! I suppose I’d have to share the glory with young Zoei, but I guess the point is moot, because I have no idea how to make a YouTube video.  

 

Apparently her parents do, though, because that small child has numerous clips of her singing various songs on line already. Why? Exploitation perhaps? It sort of takes away from the sweetness of her performance, knowing that her parents are trying to make her famous somehow. Sad.

 

But of course, I am just using the clip to amuse myself as I watch our cats respond. Whoops, I’m playing it again, and here they come! If you have cats at home, google “Zoei Toh” and see if it works for yours! I’d be interested to find others who witness the same feline phenomenon. 

 

“AHAHAHMEN!”

 

Oops!
April 5, 2008

A little disdain is not amiss; a little scorn is alluring.

-William Congreve (1700)

 

I wasn’t wearing my reading glasses at the grocery store the other day, and I was in a hurry. One of the items on my list was dog kibbles, and I tossed the bag into the cart without looking at it closely. Only when I opened it did I realize I’d bought the wrong kind.

 

All these years, our Shadow and Bailey have eaten a “grocery store” brand of dog food, and the reason is that the breeder from whom we got them uses the same brand. If it’s good enough for him, then it’s good enough for us!

 

Once I tried a “boutique” brand of food on the recommendation of our veterinarian, one that could only be purchased at his place of business, but a) since it’s a 30-minute trip over there, b) Shadow turned up his royal nose at it, and c) it was so expensive, forget that! The grocery store brand seems to work just fine.

 

Speaking of Mr. Shadow, he also turned up his nose at this incorrect bag of grocery store kibbles. Oh, it was the same brand of food he is accustomed to, but the wrong type. Instead of “adult” kibbles, it was “small dog” kibbles. I just figured that it was the same thing, only in a smaller version. It smelled the same. The colors were the same. But the texture was different! Instead of kibbles the size of stones, they were the size of pebbles.

 

He smelled what was in his bowl. He licked at it. And then with all the body language that a dog could muster, he rejected it. He wouldn’t even eat his vitamin. I tried to coax him with hand feeding, but he wouldn’t “bite”. He politely licked my proffered offering, but then turned away.

 

On the other hand, Bailey ate his with gusto, which is par for the course. I had to watch to make sure that Bailey didn’t eat Shadow’s rejects, which was not an easy thing to do, especially because this was a Sunday morning, and VERY early. So I put Shadow’s uneaten breakfast up on the counter to sit until he decided he was hungry enough.

 

And off I went to church before I had a chance to explain it to Joel, who discovered the dog dish on the counter and put two and two together. He worried, as is his wont to do, and actually managed to convince Shadow to eat some! Later he told me that Shadow definitely expressed his displeasure at what was in his bowl, actually sighing at the realization that what was offered was all that he was going to get.

 

Joel knew to not leave what was left on the floor, and so when we rendezvoused at church and compared notes, we both laughed at our elder dog’s ability to “talk”. Shadow is truly a small person in a dog suit! He sometimes cracks us up with his communication skills.

 

My usual lunch consists of a tuna salad, and what is most special about it (as far as the dogs are concerned) is that I drain the water from the tuna can into the dog bowls, which is a real highlight of their day! They just love the flavored water… So on this particular day, I parceled out the tuna water into the dog bowls, drizzling it over what remained of Shadow’s breakfast. Yummy! He promptly scarfed it all up, all except for the vitamin, which he left there in his clean bowl. I am not sure why that was, because he usually happily eats it, but I didn’t press the issue.

 

On the way home from choir rehearsal later that night, I stopped by the grocery store to buy the CORRECT kibbles. It will be worth the special trip, when in the morning all will be calm and bright. And round yon dog, there will be kibbles and chow (plus a vitamin and half a rimadyl). Then after his walk, he can sleep in heavenly peace. 

 

Postscript: Shadow does not realize that I am now sprinkling small dog kibbles into the bigger bag, and mixing them all up. Works for us! Don’t tell…